The Sound of My Laugh

Just reading this title made me chuckle a little.  I find I don’t  laugh outloud like I did years ago, things just aren’t all that funny that often.  However, several years ago, a coworker told me that I sounded like Betty Rubble from the Flinstones, and at first I denied it and thought it silly.  But after becoming aware of this similarity, I began to hear it myself and I did have a similar laugh.   Not sure I still have that in me, but it was funny at the time.

What are you Looking forward to this year?

I was never one to really look very far into the future.  So,  I am not huge planner.  But I do look forward to a better year at work, or perhaps it’s just time for another job search.  However, what I look forward to the most is having a concrete writing plan, something I can stick with and be pleased with at the end of the year.  Can’t say I’m off to a great start but we are only a few days into the year, no point being negative yet.  I have the same pitfalls that I have had for years, procrastination, no time, and the list goes on.  For some reason, this year feels different to me and I am confident that this year will be a fantastic writing year!

I’m Posting once a week in 2011!

I’ve decided I want to blog more. Rather than just thinking about doing it, I’m starting right now.  I will be posting on this blog once a week for all of 2011.

I know it won’t be easy, but it might be fun, inspiring, awesome and wonderful. Therefore I’m promising to make use of The DailyPost, and the community of other bloggers with similar goals, to help me along the way, including asking for help when I need it and encouraging others when I can.

If you already read my blog, I hope you’ll encourage me with comments and likes, and good will along the way.

Signed,

Ellen

Turning 50

I had very strong feelings about turning 50 a few weeks ago.  There were so many emotions that I had been carrying through the years that I had such mixed feelings.  Some days I was horrified that I could possibly be this old.  That part is still true.  Other days I was totally thrilled because there were many times I didn’t think I would make it this far.  But for the most part I am just disappointed in myself for how my life has turned out so far, for the things I have not accomplished and for the things I have missed out on.  I had hopes and dreams that I thought would have been realized by now and I suppose all this means is that they will be delayed a little bit longer.  I certainly am not going to give up on anything at this point, the best time of my life is here and I hope to embrace it with open arms.

Unexpected Pain

Just when I felt like i had a little bit of energy and was working on some cleaning projects, guess what?  I was getting out of my car and I had such excruciating pain in my back that I couldn’t move.  I got stuck and was frozen.  I thought it would disappear in a minute but that didn’t seem to be the case.  Thank God Ronnie was with me to help me walk and get back into the car.  This is the first time this has happened in a very long time.  I can somehow deal with my daily pain, but this is a huge thorn in my side that I can’t handle right now.  I now have to lay down and try not to make any quick movements  at all.  I just hope that I will be able to walk by tomorrow.  So much for my big plans this weekend, I had such high hopes, some energy and lots of enthusiasm.  Now it’s all gone down the drain in one instant.

Bored

Is it possible to be bored when you are so busy that you don’t know what to do next and you are just buried with work?  Apparently it is because I seem to be incredibly bored lately, again.  I am really, really busy, but I guess that perhaps I am not being challenged enough.  I know I shouldn’t even complain, but sometimes it does feel good to just a little.  Did go for a little walk today during my lunch, it was a little warmer outside so that is a good thing.  I hope not to be here too late tonight.  There is a bible class I would like to go to but I know me, I always have great intentions but not the follow through.  We’ll see how that goes today.

Writing Goals

I have been saying that I wanted to be a writer since I was in high school.  Then I said I would be a writer by the time I was 40.  Many things have gotten in the way over the years, you know life, work and that horrible animal procrastination but I am still saying I will be a writer.  Almost ten years has passed since my last declaration of a certain time frame.  I am not at all happy about this.  But on the bright side, I haven’t lost my determination and passion is stronger than ever.  I know that there are people many years older than me that have achieved their goals so I do have faith that it will one day happen.  I know I need to work harder at making this happen, it isn’t just going to happen all by itself. And I also know that I have nobody to blame but myself.  The obstacles such as work and life aren’t going to go away this year either but I have to be committed to this and myself that I can do this. 

Procrastination

 

Why do we procrastinate so much?  Sometimes I think I am the only one that does this but I know there are so many others that participate in this unintentional bad habit.  Well it’s a bad habit for me maybe not everybody.  I beat myself up for all the times I put things off, saying I’ll do it later, when I should be dealing with it at the moment.  Sometimes I think I know why I am such a procrastinator, but other times I have absolutely no idea whatsoever.

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Not enough time

I have been so busy again with work and various other things that I haven’t been writing like I had planned this year.  I thought I was finally getting on track to try to write more consistently, but things just keep getting in the way.  I am very bad at procrastinating so that doesn’t help.  I don’t even have a really good excuse.  I tell myself that if I didn’t have to work then I would write all day, but in reality I know that isn’t true.  I need more hours in the day.  I have read almost every book there is on writing and how to find that extra time.  It basically comes down to, you have to make the time if it is really what you want to do, regardless of work or whatever other things that are taking up most of your day.  Once I start, usually there is no stopping me, but it’s just getting that motivation to get it even started.  I could make a list 3 pages long of all the things I need to do when I get home from work and on the weekends and I always include writing, but for some reason it always get shoved down the list until it is way past my bedtime and I find myself trying to write even a few lines to feel less guilty.  But that is my complaining for right now.  The rest is up to me.